Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Last night I realized something.

I'm not trying as hard as I could.

Now, I was watching that new Jillian Michaels show, "Losing It With Jillian". It's mostly Jillian yelling at people, breaking them down, pissing them off, making them cry... it's moderately fantastic, actually. But more than just yelling in people's faces, she makes them really look inside of themselves and figure out what is making them overweight, what is making them unhappy, what is breaking down their confidences, what is making them think they aren't good enough.

It kind of got me thinking.

After all, who doesn't occasionally blame their circumstances on outside forces? "I hate my job because my job sucks." "I'm overweight because exercise is boring and I have a bad joint." "I'm unhappy because he/she makes me unhappy."

Then I started to wonder what happens when you start facing the fact that your circumstances lie mostly with you and the work you're willing to put forth. Ok, I love my job, but let's pretend I didn't. What if we replace "I hate my job because my job sucks" with "I hate my job, but I love writing... so I'm going to write a book and get it published."

Replace "I'm overweight because exercise is boring and I have a bad joint" with "I hate death/heart disease more than I hate exercise, and exercise will only make me stronger."

Replace "I'm unhappy because he/she makes me unhappy" with "I love myself enough to admit when I'm letting myself wallow."

Looking around at the things I've accomplished, I realize I could do so much more if I stopped saying "I can't" so much and just do the work. It's like the mornings where I drag my ass out of bed at 5:15am and run 3 miles. I always feel so much better right out of the gate when I do that. And I think it's mostly because I've already accomplished something great before breakfast, while it's still dark even. It prepares me that much more for a successful day.

I have been saying for years, "Someday... someday I'm going to write a kid's book." I got sick of adding up the somedays a couple of weeks ago, and sat down one morning and just started writing. An hour and a half later, I had a little piece of poetic fiction that I was actually quite proud of. I wondered why I put it off for so long, why I constantly thought I wasn't ready to write it.

Challenge yourself daily. If you find yourself blaming a certain circumstance on someone/something other than your own psyche, stop. Think. I'm not telling you to blame yourself. I'm telling you to tell yourself you're better than that circumstance, and move ahead. Always forward, never back.

until later...

"We all have known good critics, who have stamped out poet's hopes; Good statesmen, who pulled ruin on the state; Good patriots, who, for a theory, risked a cause; Good kings, who disembowled for a tax; Good popes, who brought all good to jeopardy; Good Christians, who sat still in easy-chairs; And damned the general w...orld for not standing up. Now, may the good God pardon all good men!” ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

No comments:

Post a Comment