Healthy food, healthy skin...

Growing up, I had awful, terrible, horrible skin. Here's me at 17-years-old.

I'm just going to throw it all down right now. I was completely embarrassed by it. Up until probably the last year, I wore make-up everywhere. I wore it to bed, I got up early when I worked at camp so I could sneak it on my face... I hated (and am still getting over) when anyone touched my face or got it wet. And everyone else in my family had wonderful skin; blemish-free, healthy looking. Me? Well, based on my skin and other pieces from my hormonal puzzle... I was just a mess. I could barely look in a mirror.

I tried every skin care line on the market. I seriously think I've tried everything you can buy at a Walgreen's or Target: Clean and Clear, Aveeno, Oxy, Noxema... the list goes on and on and on. I even tried stuff meant for babies, thinking, "Hey, maybe I have sensitive skin!" Then came the Proactiv.

I become particularly incensed when I see commercials with smiling celebrities ("It's soooo hard being so famous when everyone is looking at your skin!" Sorry, Katy/Avril/Julianne... I've never looked at your skin and thought, 'What a worthless troll!') and newly rejuvenated college kids who can't believe how much Proactiv has turned their lives around. Did Proactiv work when I used it? Depends on how you look at it. It was kind of like a band-aid on a corpse situation: it didn't clear up my acne, but it made it seem somewhat better. What I definitely know from my three or four year stint with that junk is that it BLEACHED EVERYTHING I OWNED. Towels, washcloths, t-shirts, sweatshirts, pillows, sheets... everything. I ask you: do you really want to put something that bleaches your pillows on your face? Really?

Now here's the real deal, and maybe it's a coincidence, but I don't think so. I made the decision to get healthier a few years ago. I started drinking more water, getting more exercise. My skin was a tad healthier, but still prone to break-outs. I was still using chemical-laden products on my skin (although not the bleaching kinds), still eating some processed foods.

Then I started weaning off of the processed foods (which of course I still imbibe in sometimes)... started switching out the chemical beauty products for more natural and organic ones.

And one day I suddenly realized, I just wasn't having the same problems I had as a little as three or four years ago. I didn't need to lacquer on foundation and concealer and everything else in my huge arsenal. My skin was just... better. Good even. It felt smooth, it looked clear, it seemed happy instead of angry. Today, a typical face day is tinted moisturizer, lip balm, and blush. Maybe mascara if I'm going out. But even that stuff is generally the more natural cosmetics (I'm a fan of Tarte and sometimes Korres... or even Physicians Formula Organics if you're on a budget). One recent night, I went to a friend's house without any make-up on, which was a huge step for me. Do I still get a pimple here and there? Of course. But nothing like what plagued me for a good 15 years.

Exercise. Water. Clean eating. Living a little simpler. Is it possible that this was the key to freeing those hormones that kept me sad for so many years?

It's also possible that all the swimming and running I do has made me more confident. I've had to take a step back and knock my pride down a peg, because you're going to get wet. You're going to get sweaty. People are going to see you looking filthy and gross. But they're also going to see you at your best; they'll see you striving to for awesomeness, they'll see you working really hard. A job well done, a feat that you're proud of? So much more than skin deep.


me, make-up free in 2012...

Want to check how dangerous your soaps, sunscreens, and make-ups might be?

http://www.ewg.org/skindeep/

until later...

"Beauty is a short-lived tyranny." ~ Socrates

Do something.

I went out earlier for a much needed jog around the neighborhood. I confess that lately, running/working out has seemed like a chore more often than a joy. I couldn't quite pinpoint the source of that fact; but I knew I'd come up with a long list of "reasons why".

My knees have been achy.

I'm tired.

It's boring out there alone.

It's probably icy.

I just ate.

I wasted all that time watching recorded TV, and now it's pretty close to work time.

It's raining.

I could use a day off.

I just don't feel like it.

The more I write down reasons and think about reasons, the more I realize that my reasons aren't so much reasons as they are excuses. Excuses are a pain in the ass. We come up with all of these crazy ideas of why we can't do something, and why? Because we're lazy? Because we're scared of the result? For me, it's a combo. I often find myself feeling lazy, but even that is an excuse. It may have more to do with fear. I have a fear of not living up to my potential. A fear of being beaten in races by others who are faster than me. A fear of not meeting my goals.

And greatest of all, the fear of sliding back into old habits. Does fear channel me into laziness, a sort of "self-prophecy"? "It might happen, so I'll just sit here and let it?"

Fear is a powerful inhibitor. It helps us create excuses. It marinates self-doubt.

As I was out on my run, it started to drizzle. I didn't mind too much, rain is better than ice in my book. The drizzle turned to full-fledged rain, and I came across an elderly man out getting his exercise. Hunched over, speed-walking, wearing a neon jacket and running tights, he was braced against the rain as though he didn't give it a thought.

"Here comes the rain," I shouted to him as I passed.

"Have a great day," he returned. "Still another mile to go for me!"

Here is this guy who is in at least his 70's, if not older. He's out circling the neighborhood any way he can, despite the rain and the chill. Why am I coming up with excuses to not get a simple half an hour of exercise in? Our day is made up of 24 hours, generally 16-18 of those hours are "waking" hours. If we got in 30-60 minutes of any exercise, be it running or swimming or yoga or walking, we still have SO many hours left to work, to enjoy with our family, to veg out with "Teen Mom 2" if we want. Instead of coming up with these negative self-prophecies, we should be pumping ourselves up by doing anything we can. It doesn't have to be a marathon every time. It can be walking the dog. Nothing is too small, because something is always greater than nothing.

We don't have to be the best of everyone out there. We just have to do the best we can do. Cut the excuses. They are not the reason.

until later...

“I am doing the best I can given what I have today.” ~ Jillian Michaels

Transparency in our food choices...

I came across this interesting article today and wanted to share it. One of the most popular questions I seem to get from people is whether it is more important to buy "local" or buy "organic". Here we see that it's both important to buy food with strict regulations, and important to buy food that travels less distance for the sake of our carbon footprint as well as nutrition in the food... but what is probably most important is to be informed. Know where your food comes from, know your farmers' values and practices, know what's in the food.

Read on...

http://www.mariasfarmcountrykitchen.com/organic-or-local-i-say-transparent/

Until later...

"You have to ask yourself this: Do you know your local farmer? Do you know whether or not he or she uses a lot of chemicals? If you’re not sure, then you have to decide what’s more important, knowing that your food does not contain any artificial or chemical substances (certified organic) or being able to eat seasonal, fresh food harvested close to home with a smaller carbon footprint (local)?" ~ Alberto Gonzales

On how "Newvember" became "Restvember"...

I started out November with super-great intentions. "THE WAY TO FIX MY LETHARGY IS TO SET NEW GOALS!!!" "I'M DOING THE 30-DAY SHRED FOR 30 DAYS!!!!!!!!" "IMMA SWIM SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!"

Yeeeeaaaaah.

So, I did Jillian's "30-Day Shred" for, I think, five days in a row before I A) got bored with it, B) lost motivation, and C) realized it may have been contributing to some knee pain I was having. Feeling a bit frustrated, I quit. Do I regret not meeting that goal? Not especially. As the days went by, I found myself wondering why I had set this goal in the first place. I suppose it was to prove to myself I could do it. But quitting didn't give me the feeling of disappointment I thought it would garner. Instead, I just let it go. Letting go of a goal you didn't meet feels a whole hell of a lot better than beating yourself up for not meeting it.

As for my swim goals, I can't say I didn't swim for all of November. I made it my business to get in the pool at least once a week, some weeks twice. I was mostly pleased with the effort. However, with all of this, the lethargy and tiredness was still hanging around. There are few things more aggravating than having the desire to run or swim, and having about 20% capacity for doing these things. A good friend of mine suggested a video to me early in November, citing that athletes (especially those of us who train for endurance events pretty consistently) need rest. Rest? What is this rest you speak of? Like, I have to not run? Or swim? Or do my usual weight training? This sounds harder than any of the challenges I had set for myself early in November.

After watching this video (http://www.5min.com/Video/The-Importance-of-Recovery-Time-For-Athletes-516970594#src=rss), I set my mind to take the week of Thanksgiving off. Ladies and gentlemen, this was much harder than it sounds. No running, no swimming, no biking, not even yoga. The most I did was a couple of 1/2 mile walks. I think I put on a few pounds that week (who's good idea was it to take the week of THANKSGIVING off???), and not working out made me feel grumpy. But I rested. I got some sleep, I drank some water, and I vegged a bit. I read. I knitted. I just relaxed.

And amazingly, I think it did the trick. After a whole week off, I eased into a few workouts. I did an indoor triathalon with some friends earlier this month, with the events "reversed" (15 minute run, 15 minute bike, 15 minute swim). I felt really, really good about it- my run was solid despite not doing much speedwork last month, my bike wasn't terrible, and my swim was smokin'. Just shy of 700 yards in 15 minutes? I'll take it! Since then, I've started up with a new season of Borgess Run Camp (training for the half instead of the full marathon this year), and this week I had my first run in quite some time where I didn't feel sluggish the whole way.

So how important is rest? I think I've deduced that rest is just as important as the workout. Get 7-9 hours of sleep. Turn off the TV. Read a book or play a board game. Listen to music, knit a hat, have a glass of wine. Take some time every day to unwind and relax; isn't the point of exercise to improve your stress level, not raise it?

until later...

"I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting." ~ Mark Twain

Considering a vegan challenge...

For the last couple of weeks, I've been considering the idea of doing a week-long "vegan challenge". Not forever, my fiance would kill me (you should have seen the look on his face when I mentioned it). Not because I'm a big animal cruelty adversary; I tend to think if we didn't eat a chicken or two, there would be over-crowding and chickens running amok everywhere. For me, it's more for the experiment of it, seeing how my body feels after a week of vegan/"clean" eating. It seems kind of fun, in a "this sounds like way too much work" kind of way.

Not one to jump into something without just a little research, I'm beginning to realize just how difficult a week of vegan living sounds. I already knew the basics: no animal products or by-products, which means no milk, no cheese, no eggs. ("No eggs" is a hard one for me, I eat the little wonders nearly every day.) But the more I read, the more I became somewhat disheartened. No honey??!! Are we really that concerned about how hard the bees are working? Are we worried that the living conditions of bees are unfair?! Seriously. They're bees. Their sole job in life is to pollinate flowers and make honey. It's not like if we stop eating honey they are going to find a new job changing oil at the local Uncle Ed's. They'll probably die out.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I find veganism to be somewhat pointless, if not actually detrimental to animals in the longer run. Yes, we can find alternate sources of protein from ancient grains and other plant-based foods. But what happens when we all suddenly stop eating animals and their by-products? For example. Let's say the year is 2080. Humans have become intolerant of an carnivore's diet, and thusly America is a completely vegan society. Now, I'm no farmer, but a cow has to be milked. I'd imagine that for all the cows that are now over-populated to be milked, everyone, including city-dwellers, would have to own several cows. They would have to be able to afford to own and milk those cows. And then, after paying to own, house, and feed that cow, they have to milk the cow and throw the milk out. Which makes so little sense to me; a cow has to be milked. It's not like we're doing it to be mean.

And that's just the cows. Imagine how many chickens we'd have to own, how many eggs we'd have to discard... good luck working. There's a reason moms stayed home in 1880; they had to take care of the kids and take care of the farms. Perhaps this simpler way of life worked then, but capitalism and consumerism have taken over this country in the last 100 years, and I have a feeling not too many people are willing to give up their iPhone so that they can take care of a roost full of chickens they can't eat.

I understand and support that the living conditions of many stockyard animals are far from ideal. I would like to see more farms raising animals in an ethical way, which is better for them and healthier for the people who consume the products they produce. I imagine if organic continues to catch speed, more farms will make the switch to better practices. So, if you're going to buy meat and dairy, keep buying organic meat and dairy! And in the meantime, I think I'll continue to eat a balanced diet of mostly organic plants, with meat, fish and grain as my side dishes.

Which is, most probably, the best way to support this eco-system and yourself. In my own opinion.

until later...

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? ~Author Unknown

Jillian Michaels attacks again....

Okay, so towards the end of October I made all of these big claims about November, because it wasn't November yet and therefore I didn't have to worry about them until it was. It's funny how invincible you feel when you set a goal in advance, isn't it? Funny like a treadmill set to 10mph.

Yeah, November is here. I'm posting this somewhat unflattering picture of myself, as earlier this week I began the Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred for an actual 30 days, an idea that was much more fun two weeks ago. (The picture was shot the night before I started, in an effort to see change and hold myself accountable.) Today I finished Day Four, and let me tell you, I'm a little sore. Actually, I think the only thing that is keeping me from total muscular meltdown and skeletal disinegration is the fact that I am doing it every day; I'm not even giving my body a day to process it's in pain.

A typical morning goes a little like this:
BODY: Heeeeeeey, Jen. Whaddya say we lay off the anterior raises today, huh? We could just do a little extra squatting? Huh? Huh?
JEN: Sorry, body. Jillian says pain is fear leaving the body. It might be bullshit, but what if it's not?
BODY: *big sigh*
JEN: I know, I'm tired, too. But change comes when you push past fatigue. So, yeah. Let's go push for 25 minutes.

The funny thing is, as much as my body tends to protest beforehand, once it groans to life and starts warming up, the rest happens pretty fast. Like it's no big deal, really. When I finish, I almost always wonder what I was whining about. Are you kidding? It's 25 flipping minutes. It's an episode of The Office. It's a drive to Battle Creek. And it's less than a game of Chutes and Ladders with Anna.

Point being, by the end of the workout, perspective lets me remember why I did the workout in the first place. I did it because I wanted to ignite a change in my spirit more than anything. I'm not on a big weight-loss quest. I'm simply trying to reignite my brain into remembering what an extraordinary creature I can be, when I put my mind to it. What extraordinary creatures we all are. Are we capable of greatness? Yes. Is it work? Yes. Do all the crappy things in our lives tend to weigh more than the good? Unfortunately, too often the answer is yes. But it certainly doesn't have to be that way, when we're open to the possibility that we are worthy of the best life can offer.

Make a goal; face your goal when it's hard; applaud yourself when you reach it.

until later...

I hated every minute of training, but I said, "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion." ~ Muhammad Ali

Beating the Blahs

I came to a sad realization yesterday: I am really bored with running right now.

You know, it's not bad when I get to run with other people. However, most of the time, it's just me out there, chugging along solo. Sometimes I have a new Jillian Michaels podcast to listen to, which helps. Or the weather is extra-pleasant, which usually puts me in a super mood. But it seems that more often than not, I feel like I'm running because I'm supposed to, rather than running because I want to.

With that said, I really am looking forward to starting up Borgess Run Camp in a few months here. There is something about the energy and friendship that gets me going on a snowy Saturday morning. People to chat with, a giant breakfast to enjoy, a long run to brag about for the rest of the day... I do love those Saturday runs. (By the way, I'm taking this pause to remind you that whether you are an experienced marathoner or a beginning 5ker, you really should sign up for BRC. It is a great experience, and they are adding some fun new things like weight loss camp and performance enhancement support... Check it out at http://borgessruncamp.com/ )

So what does one do about feeling "blahs" toward any particular exercise? For starters, I'm trying not to panic about it or beat myself up to much for feeling this way. It's natural to get bored with something if you've been at it for awhile. In the meantime, I'm declaring November "NEWvember", where I am going to set some new goals for myself in different areas that do not include running goals. I'm not saying I won't run at all, because while I may be a bit bored, I do have my days where only a run can quench my thirst. =) But NEWvember will hold some different challenges for myself...

MAKE IT THROUGH 30 DAYS OF THE 30 DAY SHRED. This may be a crazy idea, but I am going to see if I can get through 30 straight days of Jillian's 30 Day Shred. It's been awhile since I've even done a workout with her, I'll blame moving to a new space before I'll ever blame my own laziness (which is probably the more likely cause). So, let's see what happens if, starting November 1st, I do 30 days worth of "Shred". Hey, it's only 25 minutes a day. I must have that somewhere.

SWIM A MILE STRAIGHT. Okay, I started off at the beginning of the summer able to swim 25-50 yds before I needed to stop. Earlier this week, I managed 1,000 yds without stopping. So, I think a mile without stops is tangible; that's 32 laps. And swimming is something I'm excited about right now; it's new, it's fresh, I can hit new goals pretty easily. Who knows, maybe I can crank out TWO miles? =)

So, those are my main goals for NEWvember. I'm hoping to come out the other end refreshed, energized, and ready for another season of BRC! Remember, it's not unusual to feel some ennui with something you've had a long dedication to. Just enjoy a break (everyone needs them), and try something different!

until later...

"Boredom: the desire for desires." ~ Leo Tolstoy